Getting Internet Shamed and Learning to Love Myself Again (Part 2)

Missed Part 1? Catch up here!

Oof! Here’s to learning how to blog while also music directing and performing in a show at the saaaame tiiime. Miss me? If you’re in Chicago, come out and see Surging Films & Theatrics production of Green Day’s American Idiot–it IS a good reason for me not to have written a blog post because we’re sold out for all performances except Friday, March 17 (if you need something to do for St. Patrick’s Day)! Use code IDIOT for 25% off tickets.

My sweet friend and castmate Danielle and I, preshow for American Idiot!

Meanwhile, back in Frozen land…

On January 10th I got an email asking me if I’d consider an appearance as Elsa at a Father/Daughter dance the weekend before Valentine’s Day. So, after thinking of a million reasons why not (see: my last blog post), I put my big girl pants on and I said: “YES!” One of my dearest most fabulous friends Aiyanna Wade (you may know her from Awesome Comics) hopped on board as Princess Anna and we planned a whole girl’s day around getting ready for our gig.

Here’s Aiyanna and I a couple Comic Cons (and haircuts) ago, after meeting our FAVE Scottish Doctor Who companion, Amy (Karen Gillan).

Here we are in Bath, UK waiting for a performance of Jane Austin dancers. We had the BEST UK trip ever. There WILL be a future blog post on trip planning with anxiety, get excited!

I have to say, having a real friend around to get ready helped ease the anxiety immensely. Aiyanna is the kind of friend every woman needs, someone that always knows how to make you feel beautiful and prepared and ready to HAVE FUN. Friends with anxiety always know how to help their friends with anxiety, so we make a great little team. The day of our gig, Aiyanna filmed an episode of Awesome Comics, then I picked her up and we had brunch at Hamburger Mary’s in Andersonville. We made a short stop at The Brown Elephant for some thrifting fun, and then headed to Aiyanna’s apartment to watch Frozen and make ourselves into royalty.

After a full day of prep…IT WAS TIME! We surprised a whole gym full of girls, who gifted us with about fifty chocolates each, gave us beautiful plastic party jewelry, complimented our shoes, told us they’d seen Frozen A GAGILLION TIMES, chased Anna from one end of the gym to another in the most epic game of tag ever, and asked us if we were free for a sleepover. SUCCESS.

As we drove away from the Daddy Daughter Dance, I realized that in the time since I’d last been Elsa, I had let basic strangers make the decision that I wasn’t good enough, or pretty enough, or thin enough, to be Elsa again. What I learned during the gig that night was that little girls in princess dresses just want to hang out in ice queen shoes and sing songs at the top of their lungs and play Frozen freeze tag. These little ladies gave us LIFE. Was I the perfect Elsa? I’m sure I was not.

Anna and Elsa after the dance guests had departed for the evening, complete with extra crowns and light up rings.

It’s incredibly easy to pick yourself apart instead of build yourself up. It’s even easier to let other people do that work for you. I look at the picture above and I don’t see the perfect Elsa, like I want to see. But what I do see? A woman learning how to love herself, learning to accept herself as not a Disney cartoon but just a regular human who loved bringing joy and giggles to a Father Daughter Dance. Those little girls saw Elsa. So I can see her too.

 

Katie Meyers

Katie writes, sings and creates her way through life from her home outside of Chicago, with the help and supervision of her two cats. Katie publishes on the Calming Creative website, to create a cozy corner of the internet where creative people like her can get together without judgement or pressure - and calmly create.
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